Things I have learned from IVF and Pregnancy

Going into the whole IVF process, I really didn't have too many people to go to for advice. Obviously I had my doctor, my nurse, and the internet, but for the most part we were really just winging the physical, emotional, and stress related stuff. On the other hand, when you get pregnant people can't say enough about their own pregnancies. They have advice, nightmare stories, mom-to-be tips, book suggestions, articles, and opinions. It's really insane.

I felt the same kind of influx of advice when I got married. Everyone wants to put in their 2 cents and to that I say "nay!". The only piece of wedding advice I will give unsolicited is if you get married on a Saturday, leave for your honeymoon on Monday. You will want Sunday to relax, open gifts, eat a cheesey meatball sub (since you don't have to fit into a wedding dress anymore), and enjoy your first day of married life.

So I decided to document the lessons I learned and if you want to read them, feel free or if you are adviced out or think I am a fool to give advice - this is a blog post you can certainly skip. No harm; no foul.

IVF Tips:
1. You are much more kick ass than you think. 
As mentioned in the beginning of this whole saga, I was anti-shot. At 28 years old, my mom literally had to bribe me to get a flu shot and I had to hold my dad's hand as it was being administered. Now, I have learned you have to do what you have to do and tummy shots in a Marriot bathroom or nightly progesterone shots in the rear can be done because they have to be done for the greater good.
2.  Its okay to wallow but don't make a habit of it.
Learning you have infertility issues stinks, especially when it is the last thing you expect to hear from your beloved gyno. So it is okay to mope for an afternoon or for a day, BUT then be proactive and move on. I am not a religious person, but if you need to spend sometime in church - go for it. I chose lying in bed in the dark. Either way, embrace the funk and then move on.
3. Its okay to flip out. 
Flipping out is different than wallowing and unfortunately it comes on more than once during the IVF process. Of course you have a fabulous support team, but no one can really tell you how you are feeling because they may not get it. You are also being pumped with hormones that make you crazy. Should you flip out unnecessarily, make sure you apologize - you can blame progesterone. I would say I had one good flip out a month, but you may be a nicer, more controlled person and have less.
4. Thank your support group 
This probably goes without saying but they are more than likely the ones you are flipping out at/to. They are also the ones that have seen you wallow, are taking you to doctor appointments, are giving you shots, and just have to be around you in general.
5. Congratulate yourself
In A League of their Own, Tom Hanks' character is talking to Geena Davis' character right after she quits the Rockford Peaches because its "too hard". To this he replies "If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. It's the hard that makes it great".
IVF isn't great but it is hard. On bad days, remind yourself of the greater good and how far you have come. Yes, day one of progesterone shots is just as annoying as day 72 BUT you are moving forward each day and that is excellent!
6. Invest in Pedailite
Should your ovaries be overstimulated, you will find yourself bloated and constipated. Jen, my nurse, recommended Gatorade or Pedialite. Go for the Pedialite (the mixed fruit or citrus kind if available). If you dilute it with water, it doesn't taste too bad and has much fewer calories than Gatorade.
7. Delete Social Media 
You don't need it. It will make you crazy, narcissistic, or angry. I initially deleted it back in November or December and although IVF has been a smooth sailing and positive process, I still think it is totally unnecessary and unhealthy. As of today I am about 7 months "sober".
8. Write things down
You don't necessarilly need to blog but you will want to chronicle this process. My dad wrote the entire story of my birth and it is an awesome read. When your kid is old enough to appreciate you as a parent, they will also appreciate the hard work that went into creating him or her.
9. Don't bring children, especially babies, to an infertility clinic 
Obviously if you had a successful pregnancy that resulted in a happy and healthy baby, that is fantastic but try your best to find a sitter if you are making a trip to your local infertility specialist. These places are filled with emotionally unstable women in a frustrating, shocking, expensive, and/or sad situations pumped with so many hormones they tear up during an episode of Cold Case (not that that ever happened to me :) ). Even if your first was an IVF success and you are prepping for your second, there are several women in that waiting room on a 2nd or 3rd round of IVF and there is a good chance they may experience some emotion between jealousy and rage at the sight of you.

Pregnancy Tips:
1. Make sure you are prepared. 
Obviously a baby should be planned and a conversation should be had by you and your partner about babies. You will want to make sure you have the funds, the space, and so on to bring a new little person into the world but also make sure you are physically prepared. I wasn't. I don't embraces the pregnant woman in a two piece look, I don't love having my stomach all out there, and as you saw I had a very hard time in the first trimester adjusting to the physical changes. This changes overtime, but it does take time. Be patient with yourself, try to embrace it, and if you can't - its only 9 months.
2. Don't be too proud for hand-me-downs. 
Pregnancy clothes will, hopefully, not be a lifetime staple in your wardrobe so don't be afraid to ask friends if they have any they want to get rid of. My friend Amy hooked me up with tons of great stuff and so far I have only bought a maternity tee shirt, a sun dress, a belly band, and running shorts and I am 23 weeks in.
3. Buy a belly band
You can get away with wearing your old pants a lot longer than you might think. I have yet to break into a pair of maternity pants because of it.
4. Buy empire waist dresses 

23 weeks preg in NY& Co dress
Holler! 

If you have a formal event to go to and don't want to buy a nice maternity dress, get one in an empire way that fits the pregnant you and the normal you (see right). This way you aren't spending money on a dress you will only wear once. Also no one will be like "didn't you just wear that an so-and-so's wedding?" because you are pregnant and hormonal and you might slap them.
5. Recognize your hormones
Like PMS, pregnancy may cause you to be angry, sad,  insane, or tired out of nowhere. Should your significant other, parent, or friend be at the wrong end of this wrath it can cause a raucous. If you go into a hormone induced rage, follow IVF Tip #3 and say sorry.
6. Watch your cravings
You are not eating for two. You are eating for 1.2. During pregnancy you are only suppose to eat an extra 100-300 calories per day, a little more if you exercise. Yes, there are days when you will have an insatiable appetite and find yourself on your 3rd bowl of Special K at 9:00 at night but try to choose something healthy and not a Kitchen Sink Sundae at your local ice cream joint.

Includes 3 sliced bananas, 8 scoops of ice creams,
8 toppings, whipped cream, and cherries. 

Also sometimes an unhealthy craving can easily be replaced by something more manageable -make English Muffin pizzas if you are craving a large pie, try chocolate milk in place of ice cream (you really just want the calcium), or try POP chips in place of Ruffles. 

7. Give into your cravings on occasion. 

Sometimes you are drinking milk and your body is thinking "what the hell is this nonsense?!" and still needs ice cream. Then, G-D-it!, go have some ice cream woman! 

8. People will have their comments

Between the annoying "when are you due" askers, the tummy touchers, and those that give all the credit to the male partner and his super sperm, people are going to say and do dumb and annoying things. Clearly people say dumb things everyday, but it seems pregnant women are more of a target to their commentary. The other day I was at the gym and some old man was like "looks like your husband didn't waste any time!" (insert cheesy old man laugh here). What the heck is that supposed to mean! And you don't know anything about anything! 

9. Pregnancy may not be awesome, but its awesome. 

No, pregnancy isn't comparable to the awesome weekend in Las Vegas you had with your girlfriends, the awesome time you had on your honeymoon, or the awesome deal you just got at TJ Maxx, but it awesome in the biblical sense. The first 2 definitions of "awesome" according to Webster, are 1) expression of awe; wonder that is inspired by the sacred or sublime and 2) an inspiring awe. Pregnancy is that kind of awesome. 

Pregnancy and Exercise

1. Even if it is the last thing you feel like doing - move!

This is hard to do in your first trimester because you are exhausted all the time and I'm sure during your third because you are quite large BUT the benefits of exercise during pregnancy are incredible for both you and your baby. 

2. Go outside

If you are fortunate enough to be pregnant during warm weather, exercise outside. It feels so much better and you can dazzle your neighbors by your athletic prowess and fab pregnant body. 

Even better: don't wear headphones! It helps to feed your ego when someone whispers "she looks fabulous" to her girlfriend as you jog past them (that actually happened today - win!!)

3. Invest in good sneakers

For every pound you lose, that is four pounds of pressure off your knees when running; therefore when you are gaining weigh you are putting more pounds of pressure on your knees. Make sure you have the proper foot and ankle support - it will go a long way.

4. Preplan your route and know where there are bathrooms. 

If you are at the gym, it is easy to jump of the treadmill, elliptical, or what have you and go pee. Not so easy if you are on the road, so find a route where you can take pit stops as needed along the way. My new route is kind of around my block so I continuously run past my house as well as the bathrooms/water fountain in the park.

6. Stay hydrated and watch your body temperature

Those are no brainers but in general: listen to your body. This may be tricky because your body is up to a lot of different things. You have gas, constipation, you may or may not have to pee, you may have a cramp or your baby may be kicking you in the bladder. Either way, pay attention to this signs and make decisions accordingly. 

7. Mix it up!

Look at that Intensity! 

Like any exercise regiment, you can't do the same thing every day. Lift weights (I hate lifting weights but I do it) as they will strengthen your arms and prepare you for carrying baby around, your back which will help later in pregnancy, and other part of your body. We also have a heavy bag in the garage which make for an interesting tae-bo hybrid that I mix with kettle bell work. Friends have also recommended swimming, prenatal yoga, and Pilates.
9. Stretch.
This may not be the case with anyone else but me but pregnancy has given me some wicked restless legs. At night i prop them on pillows, I stretch them, I curl up, but every 15 minutes or so I am moving around and readjusting and just cannot get comfortable. I usually "forget" to stretch or just don't really care, but I think that it will help my current leg situation if I would just spend the extra few minutes doing a little something after a workout.
10. Do your Kegal Exercises
Peeing in your pants when laughing, coughing, sneezing, or doing just about anything else loses its cool real fast!

Sorry - this was a little lengthy

PS. I saw a toupee on the street when I was running today
PSS. Our neighbors have human-sized Alvin & the Chipmunks characters in the garage. Weird.

Ode to my Knees

I bet you thought when that line turned blue
that my running days were through,
but alas, my friends,  it was a tease
and there was no rest for you, my Knees.

First trimester, you got lucky
as morning sickness made things yucky
but as the pregnancy progressed,
the running waters, I would test.

We started slow, 11 miles per hour
when I felt a kick of power
We upped the speed just some clicks
And from 5.5, we went to 6.

Of course you felt it, I gained weight
and from 118 and I hit 128
And just as you were feeling the hits,
I went and Googled the benefits.

Running helps me maintain
the weight by body needs to gain
but most importantly during baby creation,
running helps with constipation.

The cardio increases blood flow,
and makes babies smarter, studies show.
It helps with posture and varicose veins,
and greatly reduces other aches and pains.

"You bitch!" you shout as we hit the road,
carrying my extra load
but to you I say, we must move on
because the pros outweigh the cons.

And when we're home and you've been nice
I'll treat you to a pack of ice,
a hamstring stretch, a flex, a bend
to help you get back on the mend.

Clearly as we grow in size,
I'll also get flack from my Thighs
and my Calves, my Neck, my Back,
and then my sneakers, away we'll pack

and limit things to the elliptical
where I'll be forced to fulfill
the happiness that is a run
through the town and in the sun.

But! Come November, minus child
when a day is warm and mild
we'll lace up the Ascis and enjoy the breeze,
On the road with my favorite Knees.

Pintrest - IVF

So today I was bored and just randomly typed IVF into Pintrest.
Aside from the fact that you can get IVF baby onsies (my personal favorite: http://www.cafepress.com/ivfbaby.73800403), posters, books, IVF vacations, movies,religious opinions, and film adaptations, you can also find some of the following cartoons:

Celebrity IVF Club

I never would have thought that I would have something in common with one of the K. Kardashians, but as luck would have it - I do. 


I was at Stop & Shop the other day and found myself face to face with Khole Kardashian and the US Weekly headline that Khloe and Lamar are preparing to undergo IVF treatments. Sources say "With Kim Kardashian by her side for moral support, Khloe gave up some blood so the docs could evaluate her hormone levels.  She’s waiting for the results, and will then get a stylized treatment program." 


Well I don't know how "stylized" her treatment program will be or how fashionable she can make nightly injections look, but I'm sure where the rest of us common folk get sticker shock by the cost and apply for financial aid through Fertility Lifelines, this will just be a drop in the bucket for Khloe and Lamar. *sigh*. I'm also fairly certain we will be able to follow her step-by-step process on her reality show. Yay! (barf). 


Similar to Khloe, I can also understand how seeing those around you get pregnant no problem can stir up a wide range of emotions from sadness to just plain ill-willed. I don't follow them to closely, but I know her sister is pregnant with or just had her second kid. When pregnancy and birth overlap with someone else's infertility and frustration, it is enough to make you crazy. I wonder if she will give up Facebook too. 


Other famous IVFers are Marcia Cross (Desperate Housewives), Jane Seymour, Emma Thompson, Celine Dion, Courtney Cox, and Brooke Shields.

Petry's first 5K

In other news, I ran what will probably be my last 5K until 2013. Sunday was the NY Giants Run of Champions at Metlife Stadium. I didn't really have many expectations, but finishing in less than 30 minutes would have been nice. The race was pretty awesome because the finish line was the Giant's end zone. When else will I have the opportunity to make a 100 yard run on Giant's turf. 

Finish Line -
done in 29:30

My friend Allie, from the gym,ran with me and if you were fast enough to register, you could meet with former Giants before and after the race. I did see Amani Toomer while we were wandering around and getting registered, only I didn't recognize him. He was extra skinny from training for and running the ING NYC Marathon. 

Placenta praevia

DJ and I just got back from our 20 week visit and as with most things there is never a dull moment. Petry is clocking in at 11 inches and 11 ounces (the size of a very large banana) and mommy is weighing in at 130 pounds - up 10 lbs from her original weight.



Today we learned I had Placenta Previa, "an obstetric complication in which the placenta is attached to the uterine wall close to or covering the cervix". (see picture below). It can sometimes occur in the later part of the first trimester, but usually during the second or third. It affects approximately 0.5% of all labors and is common in women who 1) have several children, 2) are over 35, 3) have had uterine surgery, 4) had prior c-sections, 5) are carrying multiples, 6) smoke, or 7) conceived through IVF (ding!). The annoying thing is all these categories of women (smokers discounted) have gone though enough crap already to get pregnant. Now life decides, "hey, I didn't think you were stressed enough - here is some praevia to go with that".

Placenta Previa

The doctor doesn't seem overly concerned and said there is a 99% chance this isn't anything at all, but as with everything it is better to be safe than sorry. We go back July 23rd for our 24 week visit and another chance to see Petry in utero. 


There are three types of placenta praevia. 
Complete Previa: the cervical opening is completely covered
Partial Previa: a portion of the cervix is covered by the placenta
Marginal Previa: the placenta extends just to the edge of the cervix. 
Previa often corrects itself by the end of the pregnancy . The placenta itself doesn't actually move but as the uterus stretches it is not as close to the cerivx as it was earlier in the pregnancy. Of course like everything from morning sickness to leg cramps, the cause is unknown but "can be blamed on several factors". Did someone have to go to medical school to tell you that? Thanks doc. 

All of these words: complication, hemorrhage, bleeding - make the issue sound a lot worse than it is, but it is something that should be taken seriously. The doctor today said there is a very good chance the placenta will move, opening the baby's exit through the cervix or, if it doesn’t, I can just have a C-Section and all will be good. This occurs in 1 in 250 births so when you think about it, it’s not that uncommon.

For some perspective you have a:

11,5000 to 1 chance of bowling a perfect game

5000 to 1 chance of getting a hole in one

3623 to 1 chance of sustaining an injury from mowing the lawn

2232 to 1 chance of slipping in the bath or shower

563 to 1 chance of catching a ball at a major league baseball game

250 to 1 chance of having a baby genius

175 to 1 chance of being audited by the IRS

and (I think this one is kind of scary)

117 to 1 chance of being on a place with a drunken pilot.


We are also at the halfway point of the pregnancy and at this stage Petry can hear sounds and recognize my voice, and can react to loud sounds from inside the womb. There is also some movement in there which I can feel from the inside out, but DJ has yet to feel anything from the outside in. Taste, hearing, smell, sight, and touch are also beginning to develop so I hope Petry likes oatmeal, bananas, peanut butter, and 80's music.

Petry on head. (I don't know how to rotate the image)

The Vernix

Petry is well into his/her 19th week of development and we are almost at the half way point of gestation. Yay!

At six inches long and about eight ounces, Petry is the size of a large mango. In comparison, I have gained somewhere between 6 and 8 pounds depending on the day and how much I indulge the night before. In the morning, when I get up for the gym and off to work, there is a little pooch near my belly button BUT as the day goes on, it swells and after dinner I have a whole different look going on. Between the full stomach, indigestion, and muscles movement the pooch expands dramatically in the evening and the deflates overnight. Its very weird.

As of today Petry's arms and legs are in proportion, neurons are connecting the brain and the muscles, and cartilage is turning to bone. I am also told that women can start feeling the baby move at this time but it may feel like a gas cramp, which since I am usually gassy has been difficult to differentiate.

Petry is also covered in a protective substance called vernix caseosa (translated in Latin, this means "vanish cheese" - yum). This greasy, white substance is made up of lanugo (a downy hair), oil from the baby's glands, and dead skin cells. The vernix protects the baby's skin from the amniotic fluid . This prevents the baby from looking very wrinkled at birth. 

On my end, other than indigestion which really only occurs after dinner and before bed, I seem to have developed restless leg syndrome and leg cramps. 

At night my legs take on a life of their own and it takes me about 20 minutes of trial and error to figure out what position they would like to be in. Sometimes they want to be elevated on pillows, other times curled in a ball, or even dangling off the side of the bed. These positions satisfy my legs for about an hour and then we have to start all over again in an effort to accommodate them. 

If RLS isn't the issue, then my legs decide to cramp. I have never had a Charlie Horse, so I am not sure if the pain is similar but a jolt of pain will radiate down the back of my thigh down to my calf for no apparent reason. It ususally doesn't last long, but depending on the timing - it can make for some very awkward stretching in public places. 

(Speaking of the word public, did you see this article!: http://gawker.com/5912071/lbj-school-of-pubic-affairs-apologizes-after-unfortunate-typo-goes-public) 

As with most pregnancy symptoms, one can blame hormones or "the unknown". Cramping falls into the "unknown" but some think it could be my leg muscles are more fatigued than usual or that the blood vessels that carry blood to and from my legs are compressed by the growing uterus. Either way, both RLS and leg cramping seem to be nothing compared to some of the other pregnancy troubles women face and can be calmed with a little stretching and patience. 

They grow up so fast

As a parent, I will support my child in whatever he or she decides to pursue whether it be sports, the arts, academics, or some other arena of life that I am familiar or unfamiliar with. This said, there is a short list of professions and hobbies, I would rather not see my child participate in, although I will still support them should these be the avenues they take.



1. Cheerleader - no offense to those out there, even at the caliber of "Bring It On", but I just don't get it. I will be a parent, I will be your cheerleader - get on the field and play a sport! Unless said sport is:

2 A Boxer - As a future parent, I think it would be incredibly difficult to watch my son or daughter beat the crap out of or get the crap beaten out of them (this also includes UFC fighter, but does not include WWE wrestler because maybe he/she could introduce me to The Rock)

Danny - The Shining

3. A child actor in a scary movie. - I think I would have a hard time looking at my kid the same if they were the REDRUM kid in The Shining or Linda Blair from the Exorcist. An exception to this is Hailey Joel Osmund in The 6th Sense - yes, it was a horror movie but he was cute, not creepy.





4. An Alaskan King Crab Fisherman - With a show titled The Deadliest Catch following those with this profession, I don't think I need to say much more.

5. A clown - See #3. No exceptions.

6. A cast member of a reality TV show with the exception of 1) The Amazing Race (that would actually be my dream), 2) a game show that doesn't involve roommates or "7 strangers", or 3) a home improvement show.

7. A gamer. I have nothing against a video game here and there, but once I see them inside on a beautiful day or speaking in World of Warcraft tongues, changes need to be made ASAP!


8. A pro athlete for a Philadelphia sports team

9. A porn star, stripper, "escort", exotic dancer, or any other euphemism for that line of work.

10. An acoustic guitar player - Now if this hobby keeps your kid off the streets or leads to a multi-platinum record, then its cool with me but if my child is the kid at the party that takes out his/her guitar and struggles through "Freebird" in someone's basement with a bunch of stoner friends, I would rather not hear about it. I think those people are so cheesey and its an awkward buzz kill for everyone who could care less about you and your guitar.

11. An Abercrombie & Fitch Employee (added 5.28.13) - Aside from the flagrant douche baggery associated with the clothing chain, recent comments made by the CEO have turned me off to the store entirely and all associated with it. Not a looker himself, I was disgusted to read  this comment made by Mike Jeffries: "In every school there are cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids...We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of finds. A lot of people don't belong [in our clothes] and they can't belong."




PS. Today I am 18 weeks pregnant.