BYOP(rogesterone)

 You know what I don't miss? Progesterone shots. You know what I miss even less? Getting them.

As I may have mentioned, my last day of breastfeeding was February 4th (snark if you like Leche ladies, but Austin and I just didn't do well with it) and between that date and today I should have restarted my menstrual life in hopes of smoothly creating Baby #2, if desired. Unfortunately the "restart" mode that Dr. B referred to at my 6 week postpartum check up has yet to kick in leaving me at the mercy of science, yet again.

I pray you never see the day when a nurse asks you to come in for a progesterone shot and you respond: "I have everything I need here. Can my husband just give it to me?" Why, you ask? Well 1) it means you had a bout with infertility and that is frustrating and tiresome, 2) Your husband should not be well versed in the ways of progesterone administration, 3) I would have hoped your body properly restarted after Baby #1, and 4) You should not have an arsenal of syringes, progesterone vials, alcohol swabs, and replacement needles tucked away "just in case" in your bathroom drawers. It just isn't normal. You also should not have to call your husband from work, ask if you have x-amount of MG's of progesterone available and he, in an effort to find the correct medication, rattle off 3 other types of medication in your kit and then know the quantitative difference between an ML, a CC, and an MG. This isn't conversational knowledge, this is IVF speak.

Anyway, so rather that giving me the shot at home, I went to the doctor's (my own progesterone in tow) because I had some questions and she wanted to see my son. This will probably be one of the few times Austin will visit a gynecologist's office, but since he is a little flirt, he had a grand old time with the ladies in the office. As Mommy posed for her progesterone injection, Austin dribbled and drabbled in the corner, enamored by the stark white environment in the patient's room.

Bruised butt and all, Austin and I headed home to wait. Ideally, if my hormones take the appropriate cues, I should have my period just in time for Mother's Day. Ironic, isn't it?

The World We Live In

Yesterday I ran the Rutgers Unite Half Marathon. As I waited at the starting line, I thought, "how perfect that the race sponsor is Unite". The 4000 runners lined up that day were doing more than just exercising, besting their PR's, crossing off bucket list items, and running a race - we were uniting as one group in support of Boston, of runners everywhere, and of good overriding evil.

On April 15th, two terrorists made bombs from pressure cookers and strategically placed them at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. Held on Patriots Day, the event attracts up to 500,000 people and has grown from 18 participants in 1897 to over 38,0000 - making it the world's largest marathon. This year, 2013, just before 3:00 pm in downtown Copley Square came the first explosion, shortly followed by the second. Like something out of a movie, the incident resulted in over 100 casualties - many of which lost limbs, suffered injuries from shrapnel, and required immediate medical attention. Streets reserved exclusively for the runners were suddenly filled with emergency workers, good samaritans, and scared civilians. Simultaneously we saw humanity at its worst and at its best - fortunately the heroes outnumbered the evil doers by far.

Wearing Mommy's medal

The visual images, albeit graphic, showed people flocking towards the injured and regular Joe's and Jane's turned into first responders, triage nurses, and new friends. The public outcry was immediate and through cell photo photos, Tweets, social media, and news coverage action was taken immediately to narrow down the suspects. It seemed that by days end, two suspects were weeded out, splattered all over the internet, and the chase was on.

So back at the starting line, I began to think - "what kind of world have a brought my little man into?". You go to the movies, there is a shooting. You go to school, you are at risk. You run a race, you could lose a limb. Where does it end? Well, I may not have an answer to that but I do know, as I looked at the racers wearing tee shirts, badges, ribbons, and hats in support of Boston, I realized that there is too much good out there to prevent little champions like Austin from entering the world. As we ran, as I ran, I felt a little extra something for those that may not be able to run anymore. The proximity of the race dates, the fact that Rutgers was not canceled in light of the recent events, told the world that you may kick us, but you can't bring us down. We may be sad, we may have been scared, but now we are united and we will out number you - always.

On I ran, passing (or sometimes being passed by) my peers thinking about Boston, the runners and the spectators in particular. Running is different than a lot of sports because 99% of us know  we aren't going to win this race, we aren't the elite, and we aren't professionals. We recognize running is a solitary sport but it is also a team sport. Early finishers double back and cheer us, mortals, on. Telling us the finish line is around the corner or that this is, in fact, the last hill. People we have never seen before cheer us on - holding up signs saying "Your feet hurt because you are kicking ass" or "Chuck Norris never ran a marathon". Runners, those you are "competing" against, give you a reassuring nod or an extra smile when its clear you are running out of steam and, for whatever reason, that propels you to forward. Girl Scours, Frat Boys, Soccer Moms, and Supportive Dads in their "I'm Here to Help" tees to pass out water and Gu on the sidelines despite the temperature, the early hours, or their outside responsibilities. For a solitary sport, we are one helluva team.

When I crossed the finish line, shocked I had gotten a PR, and found my friends I was anxious to get home to my family. I had that overwhelming feeling of wholeness and goodness that I wanted to share and use right away. Yes, there were two little bastards out there that sought to injure many and take the lives of three. To you both I say - screw you! As long as people, communities, runners, what have you come together and keep moving forward and sharing positive moments, you will not win.

Where did my hair go?

If you have been following along, you'll notice that the luscious locks Austin came into the world with have started to thin.  At the moment he is a mix between Mo from the Three Stooges and Robin Hood's Friar Tuck. 

The creative apple didn't fall too far from the tree and this is what my dad wrote on the matter. 

Where Did My Hair Go?

by Grandpa 

Where is my hair?

Where did it go?

I saw it right there.

And now it's no mo'.

Is it on my pillow?

Or on my bed?

Did the wind blow,

And take it from my head?

I'd ask my Momma

And my Pop.

If they would  help

And make it stop.

Is it at Grandma's and Grandpa's?

Is it in a book?

Maybe they can find it,

If they look?

What is the cause?

What is the reason?

Is it from hiccups

Or too much sneezin'?

I don't know 'cause I'm just a baby.

Will it grow back? Will it? Maybe?

Ya know. I don't give a hoot.

'Cause even without it .

I'm so darn cute.

The Case is STILL Open!

Now that Austin has successfully entered the world, I feel like the title of my blog - The Case of the Missing Period - needs to be reassessed. I am flirting with the idea of a new title but first, let's acknowledge the period - or lack there of.

Again, a romantic topic that women love speaking of and one I just can't get enough of - literally. My last date with the Medela breast pump was February 4th. I know this because I found myself in the bathroom plugging away for the last time after the Raven's won the Superbowl and wishing (as I do every year) the game was played on a Saturday. The adults at our Superbowl Party barely outnumbered the 5 children under 2 years old so with the exception of "who won the game?", I, as the host, could answer very few questions about the game's progress.

My Brave Little Toaster!

After ending my love/hate relationship with breastfeeding, I googled away to determine how long it would take for me to get my period back. This was done for several reasons, of course, but most of all I didn't want to have another situation as I  had in Boston and be caught off guard. Friends said a month or two, the internet said the same, and Dr. H suggested early April. Well, we are just about to cross the threshold from early to mid-April and I am still periodless. Am I surprised? Not really.

The good news is should Baby #2 need to be an IVF baby, the worst part of the process is over. We have 5 of Austin's siblings hanging out in a freezer somewhere waiting to be implanted in my uterus. This means no tummy shots, no enlarged follicles, and no retrieval. Essentially DJ and I would be able to schedule our next pregnancy and go in for the transfer. I will still have to get the progesterone shots, which is annoying, but at least I have experienced them before, survived, and made a baby. The bad news is - well - where the heck is my period and what does this mean long term? What will my birth control options be? Do I even need birth control? Will I age in a weird way because I am not menstruating?

Headlines

All the time you hear of babies doing crazy things the second their mother or father goes out of ear shot or eye sight. I think about this all the time when Austin is crying and I have to run to the bathroom real quick, take out the trash, or check on dinner. With the exception of one near escape from his swing, it has never been a dire emergency - not even close - but more of a "no one is giving me attention at this exact moment and I must have it now" cry. When this occurs and I find myself taking an extra minute or doing something seemingly selfish or self indulgent or just not Austin-centric, I think of what a headline might read if an accident were to occur such as:

Foot stuck in Crib Bars; Results in Massive Bunions for 5 month old; Mom plucking eyebrows.

Mom Taking Out Trash during Strained Pea Debacle

NJ Boy falls 3 inches from Play Mat while Mom checks on Pasta Fagioli

Baby Coughs Up Hairball; Shedding Mom to Blame

I'm sure moms all over the world have these concerns, especially when you are flirting with the idea of basic pleasures like taking one more minute in the shower or snoozing for five more minutes in bed before welcoming the day with poopie diapers and pureed bananas. I would assume it is commonplace to question your parenting abilities, your strategies, and your techniques. I know I am constantly puzzled as to why everyone can get my son to nap for an hour and a half or more except me. As of late, twenty minutes has been deemed a small victory.

Regardless of how you feel, know you are better than the following moms and their "headlines":

A 51 year old Palm Bay, Florida Mom and her 23 year old son pull a heist at a CVS demanding 100 mgs of morphine

In Kansas City, Missouri, a 17 year old Mom leaves her two year old in the car while she hawks drugs. She returns to find son and other children playing with the plate of cocaine.

A 28 year old Wisconsin Mom was arrested for shooting her 8 year old with a BB gun because her boyfriend bet she wouldn't

And across the pond, a Mom, 54, french kisses her son, 30, as a means to pass drugs through prison security.

Can a Mom (or Dad) have it all?

How can you leave this face at home and go to work without feeling a pang of guilt? It's damn near impossible, but it a decision moms have to make as their maternity leave comes to a close. To work or not to work, that is the question.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I thought going back to work would be a no brainer. I went to a lot of school to just have a baby and call it a day, professionally speaking, didn't seem like an option. But, as January 14th neared, the degrees, the certificates, the credentials seemed to lose their value and bottles, breast pumps, diapers, and onsies started to look more and more appealing.

At the end of the day I chose to go back to work for several reasons. The first was my new position was very "new mom" friendly. With the ability to work from home two days a week, I am with my son more than I am away at work. This hybrid life style also makes me a better mom, I think, since I am more tolerant of tears, break downs, explosive poop, and spit up. It also allows me to interact with adults, put those diplomas to work, and prevent a glaring gap on my professional resume, The second reason I decided to return to work was based on our quality of life. Although DJ is the "bread winner", per se, I am not significantly far behind. The purchase of our house, the vacations we take, the dinners we eat - are all based on two salaries. This said, I never want to say "No Austin, we can't go to Disney" for money purposes. As an only child, and the wife of an only child, I recognize how spoiled I actually was (and still am). I certainly don't want Austin to be a spoiled brat, but should he want to dabble in soccer, football, and dance - I want to give him that opportunity. I want him to experience camp, travel, and annual vacations. He deserves that.

The third reason was my support system. Because my parents live twenty minutes away and my husband works remotely, we were fortunate enough to have childcare in place. Free childcare. This was HUGE. I recently spoke to a mother and she was paying $1500.00 a month for childcare. Although her monthly salary was more, she would still have to take off in the event of a sick child, to be a field trip volunteer, or a school closing. At the end of the day, she chose to be a stay-at-home mom because it was more cost effective. DJ and I have a very good system - although not perfect - Austin spends three days a week with my parents and then two days a week at home with us. Even though we are both working the days I am home, we do a pretty good job of tagging each other in and out of parent duty. Our system allows me to go to work with piece of mind, knowing my child is in good hands, getting undivided attention, and is in a safe environment.

Recently Sheryl Sandburg's book "Lean In" took the women's workforce by storm as she wishes to encourage women to "pursue their ambitions" and change the conversation from what we can't do to what we can do. I think the premise is excellent; however critiques think she may be out of touch with the needs, demands, and stresses of the everyday working woman. I'm not sure what a day in the life of Ms. Sandburg is, but I can guess she doesn't take the 8:11 train into Penn Station every morning, but she probably has a million other stresses that I can't even begin to fathom. I followed the website, Leanin.org as well as joined the LinkedIn group in hopes of connecting with women who share my concerns as well as ambitions. Hopefully I will one day be the CEO of something other than 16 Beechwood Avenue. 

Firsts!

Austin's First:


Hurricane/Superstorm: 
Sandy 10/28/2012
Football Game
Cowboys v Giants (Giants win!): 10/28/2012
Car Ride: 
Daddy's Ford F150 10/30/2012
Bath: 11/10/2012
(Lost umbilical cord 11/9/2012)
First Night in Crib: 11/11/2012
Thanksgiving: 
At home with Mom and Dad 11/22/2012
Smiles: 12/24/2012
First Visit to MD: 12/25/2012
Superbowl: 
Baltimore Ravens vs. San Fransisco 49ers (Ravens Win!) 2/3/2013
Roll Front-to-Back: 2/27/2013
First Papal Resignation: Benedict XVI
(first pope to resign since Pope Gregory XII in 1415)
2/28/2013
Solid Fruit: 
Bananas 3/2/2013
Solid Vegetable: 
Peas 3/12/2013
First Papal Conclave: 3/12-3/13/2013
Jorge Mario Bergoglio, Archbishop of Buenos Aires - selected papal name of Francis 
First Preaster (and, consequently, St. Patrick's Day)
3/17/2013
First Easter: 3/31/2013
First tooth: 4/5/2013
Sits up in Tripod Position: 4/24/2013
Sits without support and sucks on toe!: 4/27/2013

Austin with Dad in GCT

First Night in a Hotel: 5/4/2013
First Cold: 5/14/2013 - I didn't think Austin could get any cuter until he gave me the biggest smile, through his sniffles and dried boogers around his nose. I melted whereas 16 year old me would have been totally grossed out. 
First Trip to NYC: 5/26/2013 - Spent the day with Mom and Dad going to brunch and visiting Grand Central Terminal. It was a little chilly but he was a champ all day! 
First Crawls - The weekend of 6/14/2013
First Train Ride - The New Hope Railroad Express in New Hope, PA for Father's Day 6/16/13
First Hair Cut (unofficial): 7/4/2013 - just a little off the bangs
First Trip to the Beach (Avalon): 8/4/13
Pulls himself up from floor to standing!: 8/6/13
First Government Shut Down: 9/28/2013
First Shoes: Stride Rite 4.5 Wide Curious George Style 10/5/13
First Day of Day Care: Little Genius Academy in DaVinci's Den 11/1/13
Stands on Own and First Word (Da-da) - end of Oct/early Nov.
First Record Breaking Temperature (HIGH) : 12/21/2013 - 70* F (previously 65* F in 1998)
First Record Breaking Temperature (LOW): 1/7/2014 - 4*F (previously 6*F in 1896). 
Austin Walks (and gets his first black eye as a result): 1/2014
First Projectile Vomit: 4/6/14 Preaster 

Top Songs on Billboard Top 40:
10. Alex Clare, Too Close
9. Flo Rida, Whistle
8. Kesha, Die Young
7. One Direction, Live While We're Young
6. Ellie Goulding, Lights
5. fun, Some Nights
4. Pink, Blow Me (One Last Kiss)
3. Taylor Swift, We are Never Ever Getting Back Together (most annoying song EVER!)
2. Psy, Gangnam Style
1. Maroon 5, One More Night

Who was in Office: President Barack Obama/ Vice President: Joe Biden

Movies in Theaters in October 2012:
Taken 2, Frankenweenie, Seven Psychopaths, Argo, Butter


News Headlines from Around The World:
1. US braced for massive storm as Hurricane Sandy Nears
2. British pop start Gary Glitter arrested in connection with Jimmy Saville sex abuse scandal
3. 7.7 Earthquake strikes Western Coast of Canada, tsunami warning issued then retracted

Chinese Year of the Dragon:
The dragon is the 5th sign of the Chinese Zodiac. It is a majestic, proud sign. The talented, artistic Dragos are the real show-offs of the Chinese Zodiac. They are always popular and they easily influence those are them. Dragons are determined, successful, and enthusiastic. Dragons usually find successful careers in the performing or creative arts, or in politics. Their element is Earth and their color is gold. This year adventure and boldness are favored. 
DJ was born the Year of the Dog (1982) and I am the Year of the Pig (1983).


What else happened this day in history?
1826: The Statue of Liberty is dedicated by Grover Cleveland on October 28th, 1886. The Statue was built in France and and funded by the French people and was shipped in 1885 to New York and placed onto Liberty Island in New York Harbor. 
1922:  (Italy) King Victor Emmanuel III hands over power to Mussolini who was supported by the military. 
1927: (US) 150 kegs of the genuine scotch whisky described as 140% proof bearing the label of Perth Scotland has been captured in New Haven, Connecticut after being landed at smugglers cove 
1929: (US) Wall Street crash's Black Monday.  Following the crash on the 24th ( Black Thursday ) over the weekend a number of investors decided to pull out of the market on the ( Monday 13% drop ) and by the the next day ( Tuesday another 12% drop ) as word spread the number of investors attempting to sell shares sent the market into a downward spiral. 

Dow Jones Industrial Average on Black Monday and Black Tuesday

Date	Change	% Change	Close
October 28, 1929	−38.33	−12.82	260.64
October 29, 1929	−30.57	−11.73	230.07

1965: (US) The Gateway Arch, a 630 ft high parabola of stainless steel marking the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial on the waterfront of St. Louis, Missouri is completed 

Also celebrated:

Japan: Prefectural Earthquake Disaster Prevention Day" to help residents prepare for earthquakes.

Greece: Ohi Day commemorates the rejection by Greek dictator Ioannis Metaxas

Worldwide: International Animation Day - commemorates the first public performance of Emile Reynaud’s Theatre Optique at the Grevin Museum in Paris, 1892