Friday, August 9, 2013

Babies at the Beach

I am selfish at the beach. I like to sit, read my book, and bake. I don't go in the water, I prefer not to talk to anyone, and enjoy being on my own schedule. Ideally, I would go to the beach alone or with someone who has similar antisocial beach practices. It is my time to do my thing and that is that. 

Babies at the beach put a GIGANTIC wrench into my selfishness. First they need to be doused in sunscreen, then you have to put their bathing suits and tops on their slimey, slippery, squirmy, lotioned body. Next you have to take Baby and his towel, beach tent, cooler, bottles, formula, cold water, snacks, blankets, toys, and hat down to the beach with you, in addition to your own crap. Third, you have to watch him, carry him, make sure he doesn't eat sand, escape into the sun, cry, or pee out of his silly water diaper that doesn't hold pee (WTF!). 
You walk down to the water to dip his toes in
walk back up because he doesn't like it
walk back down to rinse off some bodily fluid
walk back up because he is hungry
walk back down because - maybe he didn't like the water the first time, but he might like it now
walk back up for pictures and maybe a nap.

It is insane!

I don't know what I was even thinking packing a book (rookie mistake) or why I thought my 9 month old would be advanced enough for sand toys (JV move) but I did learn that with babies at the beach there is strength in numbers and between four adults, including a husband that does not have the same affinity for lazing in the sand, I was able to get about an hour of uninterrupted tanning in..........over the course of 4 days.