Monday, January 30, 2012

Lies. Tells me Lies. Tell me Sweet Little Lies.

Lying is exhausting. Well maybe I shouldn't say lying so much as avoiding the truth.

Only a handful of people know my situation so they aren't the issue, but its those that don't that are becoming difficult to manage. Who did I tell what story? How much information should I dole out? What should I tell work people when I can't attend an event or friends when I have to flake on plans?

I recently saw my friend at a party and we originally had delusions of grandeur that we would be pregnant together. Now she is and I'm not and it comes up in conversation as to what my plan is. So, naturally I lied and said I went back on the pill until I figured out what I was doing professionally. I blamed travel and DJ's travel and said I wouldn't feel right having a baby just yet.

When an overly concerned coworker asked if I was getting any pressure from home, I lied and said no, explaining DJ and I were "in talks" but not ready to commit to anything. Meanwhile, minutes before I was literally staking out the hotel bathroom to give myself my Lupron shot.

Work has been a little tricky too. Originally we were looking at the 9th-14th for my retrieval and transfer and now its the 13th - 17th. When I have to travel for work, make appointments, and all of that it is difficult to have a floating procedure date. I guess the good news is things are moving forward and could be happening as soon as two weeks. The frustrating news is I have a week window where I am on call as far as my medical appointments know but I can't effectively warn my supervisors or plan ahead of time.

So for all of you that receive this blog and are reading it after the fact, I apologize for lying to you.  I'm sure if you look at the dates, you may say "oh, so that's why she was so shady!".
Well now you know :)